Wall Street jokes
The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the left side nothing is right and on the right side nothing is left.
For Geography students: What's the capital of Iceland? Answer: About Three Pounds Fifty...
A trader: "This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."
Lehman have changed their recommendation on Lehman from hold to sell.
Forty years ago I sold fifty shares of my company stock and had enough money to purchase a brand-new 1967 Ford pick-up. Last week, I checked it out, and if I sold another fifty shares, I'd have enough money to buy a 1967 Ford pick-up. So, the market has stabilized.
A man walks into a bank, walks up to the mortgage manager and says, "I want a loan to buy a house. I am not sure what the house is worth, I have no down payment and I just lost my job." The manager replies, "Sign right here."
Just an ordinary day on the markets: