A successful lawyer dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, and is very angry. “Why me, I am only 57 years old?” he asks. St Peter eyes him up and down, consults the Big Book and replies: “Well, according to your billing hours you are 89.”
[Source: The Economist]
..A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes.
Little Tyrone stood up and yelled:
"FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!!"
I guess there aren't many farms in Detroit ...
After the new political term "to enforce peace", a whole number of other new terms have been developed by the Russian Federation, with following explanations:
* to enforce generosity - to rob
* to enforce taking vacation - to make redundant
* to enforce health improvement - to beat up
* to enforce change of the environment - to put to jail
* to enforce mutual agreement - to rape
* to enforce friendship - to sell gas at $500 per cubic meter
This is GREAT ... something we should all remember.
A 92-year-old, petite, poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.
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